totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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