i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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