so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
