dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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