Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
