put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize