i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I FOUND THE LEGS
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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