One girl and one boy is just not enough.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
