Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
