So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize