; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
