i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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