wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
