why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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