shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
