You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
