Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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