Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
