I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
