Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
God I need to hump something, right now.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
