I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
