if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
