I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
