Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
