He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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