I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
