We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize