this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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