dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize