it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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