I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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