Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
