Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
