I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
