mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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