Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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