That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Farmville is her only friend.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
