Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
