I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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