I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
