sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
