Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
