He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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