Are we in a gay sports bar?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
