Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
