I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
