Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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