; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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