belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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