You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
