He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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