My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She swung at the pinata with crutches
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
