i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
