That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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