Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
