Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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