i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize