Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
