dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
