they need to just BURY HIM!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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