I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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