how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
