I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
