My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
