if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
