Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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