If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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