the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize