OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
