I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
