Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
