I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she told me i tasted like america
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
