My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize