Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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