i barfeds in our rink
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize